Gaining from troubles

This blog is autobiographical. This is about the troubled days in my life and how I gained from it.

You bet, I went through all those bad days accompanied by all those uneasy emotions and breakdowns.

More than once, I was cheated, betrayed, duped, humiliated, backbitten and so on ….

So be sure that I went through all those bad days that you may imagine.

I was betrayed and so on…. by friends and by those whom I trusted with my life.

And I found everybody who knew the truth and were expected to stand with me, forsaking me.

None stood with me, none spoke in favour of me.

I found none to say, ‘you are doing injustice to him.’

What my friends did? (I mean those who did not really join the backbiters)

They told me that they have nothing to do with the cheats. They came to enquire into the matter.

But what they really did?

In financial troubles, they tried to add fire.

In frustration, they tried to add humiliation.

And when I fought alone, they looked the other way.

They said, they knew that justice was with me, but could do nothing.

Thus I found that troubled days are lonely days.

You fight alone, you struggle alone and you suffer alone.

I was sad to be in such a situation.

The friend who ate with me from the same table has betrayed me.

My faithful friends who declared themselves to be with me ‘unto death’ are maintaining a distance, saying that they are helpless.

Is it life? Is it human nature? Is a life like this worth living?

I too declared that ‘everything is vanity’.

Can you expect anything good from Nazareth?

A big NO was the first answer. Then slowly I realized certain positive traits in troubles.

All are not vanity for those who wait and see.

Let me repeat:

In the stormy days of financial breakdown, humiliation at my work place, betrayel by friends …

I found that I am alone, lonely, left aside like the beaten Samaritan.

But all those days were my good days.

Because, all those days were my own.

None came to me with their projects and ‘brilliant ideas’ to beat the storm.

None tried to influence with their experiences, belief and wisdom.

None came to explain the situation, none told me about the precautions I failed to take.

None pointed out my pitfalls – where I fell and how could I avoid it.

I was all alone. It was the blessing of troubled days.

Alone I sat with myself as my comforter and guide.

I pondered back and visualized my future.

I found some pitfalls in my past days.

I trusted the untrustworthy. I may have reasons. But I did fall.

I realized that storms and troubles are good. They have done something good to me.

I could realize my pitfalls.

I decided not to repeat them.

I agreed that life must go on.

I thought of a better way to deal with people and situations.

I set my priority for the future.

I fixed my immediate goals and long term goals.

I drew a path to them.

I could decide which way to move on.

I was so glad that all those days happened to me.

Without any peer pressure, I put my first step into a new unfamiliar path.

A path where I will not need my old friends and old ways.

A new greenish way to try my wits again. New adventures, new opportunities and new profits – all waiting for me.

Without any peer pressures.

I am thinking for myself.

I am planning for myself.

I am living all by myself.

It is freedom. New air, new confidence, fresh approaches, and a new way to experience life.

Even the Sun exists, for the first time in my life, all for me.

The moon, never before was so eager to rise.

Everything, nature and life looks fresh and pretty.

No one told me that the rose is red. I realized it.

I called violets blue, because I felt so.

This world belongs to me.

This is what I gained from storms and troubles in my life.

Wish you all a prosperous new year (2013)

Prof. Jacob Abraham

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